Posted on May 6th, 2023

Site under construction

More than anything, I think that my life's source of distress comes from the unreliability of other people. I don't know if you could call it a trauma, per se but I was the type of person to float between social groups in highschool. I never particularly felt accepted in any of them. It sure didn't help that my high school was separated into two different buildings with two grades worth of students in them. That isn't to say that I wasn't liked by my peers. Despite being generally liked, I never felt like I was actually welcomed as part of any group. Usually it was chalked up as some sort of social politics. It hurt me being separated like that, always being a bit-part. Welcome, but never wanted.
Maybe that's something everyone experiences to some degree in school.
Everyone proclaims the difficulty of making friends in adulthood, how hard it is to find like-minded people. However, my experience has If anything, my adult life has been solitary. After moving to Atlanta, eagerly looking forward to seeing some of my friends for the first time since the pandemic started, and hearing about all their stories from the film industry, the things they saw, what they've been up to, and new friends I could meet alongside them. My calls were never answered. I made some small success trying to play games online with these friends, but the limitations of 2, 3 or 4 player games led to me being left out much more often than being included. Perhaps I just don't leave too impactful an impression. For the sake of my own embarrassing actions as a teenager, I hope so.

At this point, I think we're all experiencing a profound amount of loneliness. It's the loneliest period in human history, there's not a doubt in my mind about that. We're all fighting our internal monologues on our little islands, too consumed with the idea of independence to do anything about it. What, have we all convinved ourselves, or rather had others convince us that we're unlikeable? I don't know if this is a universal experience or not, but if you have been feel free to contact me about it.

Today, I woke up excited to repair my bike with a friend. He took apart the chain, headgear, brakes and whatnot for whatever reason. We made a promise that we'd go finish the job together at this sort of co-op bike repair spot. I wanted to make an outing of it, learn a few things, become more capable, and walk out of there with a bike that rides like new. He'd never show up that morning, he was too tired to leave bed. I knew this would happen. I knew he'd been grappling with this-sort-of-issue for months now. He knew that. I was told no matter what, don't stop calling in the morning, pester him like im his personal alarm clock. 10 or so calls later between 9:20 and 10:40, and he wasn't picking up. More than anything I was mad. I was mad and I was tired. Even leaving Atlanta, different friends of mine continue to be unreliable, and it's making me feel like i'm not good enough to warrant them getting out of their house to see me. This probably sounds a bit selfish venting this on a personal blog but I don't have anyone to vent to. Even almost half a decade later, I still feel like a bit part in people's lives. As if I'm only wanted when everyone else on their rolidex of friends has been exhausted. For now, I guess I gotta get out and find some new people to stand near. I just hope I can get the courage to do that sorta stuff again after covid, and continual soft non-rejection from friends, y'know?

Anyways, if you're ever in the PGH area check our Free Ride Pittsburgh if you ever need a cheap bike, or got a bike sitting in your garage that needs some TLC. It's dirt cheap and the people there are super helpful. PGH biking culture is strong.

This Mission Statement

Posted on April 19, 2023

The advent of webpage creation tools such as squarespace, wix, and wordpress has generally homogenized the web. In opposition to this, i've decided to spend my spare time creating a more unique form of expression on the internet, both as a homage and a challenge to myself, as so much of modern web design tools are suited for flat design. Taking inspiration from early to mid 2000s blogs and forums, I hope to hone my HTML and CSS skills, to allow myself to make stylized websites outside of the corporate memphis styled aesthetics of the modern web. I am actively seeking inspiration for this website. If you find some unique web artifact, feel free to email me a link at

In addition to this, I have yet to create a purpose for this site. I don't particularly have any idea on what I want to do here, maybe just post a bit about my adventures and exploits in my own quiet way, just cataloging things that happened to me or things i've been interested in.